Being the victim of a bully is one of the most dreadful things anyone can experience. It happens in schools and workplaces and can happen to both young and old. However, identifying whether someone is a bully can be challenging.
Bullying is when people repeatedly and intentionally use words or actions against someone or a group of people to cause distress and risk to their well-being. These actions are sometimes done by people with more influence or power over someone else. Bullying is often done to make someone else feel less powerful or helpless.
Bullying has been said to be the most common form of school violence, with approximately 3.2 million students bullied a year, and it is equally a common form of workplace violence.
Here are some signs that someone may be a bully:
Fake initial friendship or interest
This can be very difficult to spot. However, a bully would deploy this to get close or know things about you so they can break down and penetrate your defence wall. Although, this in itself isn’t a conclusive sign. With other signs, this will help you detect if you’re dealing with a bully.
Aggressive behaviour
Aggressive behaviour in bullies can be both physical and verbal. They may often engage in pushing, hitting, or other forms of physical violence. They may also deploy insults, threats, or intimidation to assert dominance and trigger fear and superficial respect in others.
Frequent teasing or mocking
Bullies will often target individuals repeatedly with teasing, mocking, making derogatory comments or destructive criticism about one’s work, appearance, abilities, insecurities or personal characteristics. They may engage in name-calling or spreading rumours to humiliate or belittle others. Based on their closeness with you before they show their colours, they are the type that will use the past mistakes you confided in them to taunt and humiliate you.
Power imbalance
Typically, a bully will focus on individuals they perceive as vulnerable or weaker than themselves. They exploit power imbalances, such as physical strength, popularity, or social status, to assert dominance and control over others. This is often seen more at workplaces and deployed by bosses and senior staff.
Social exclusion
Bullies will often engage in social exclusion by deliberately isolating individuals from their peer groups or social circles. They may spread rumours or use manipulative tactics to turn others against the victim, making them feel rejected, depressed and alone.
Cyberbullying
Because of easy access to technology, bullies can also engage in cyberbullying. This includes sending threatening or demeaning messages, spreading rumours online, or sharing embarrassing or private information about someone through social media or other digital platforms.
Lack of empathy
Bullies often display a lack of empathy towards their victims. They often engage in disregarding or dismissing the feelings and well-being of others, showing little or no remorse for their hurtful actions.
Control and manipulation
Due to their desire to seek control and manipulate others, they will exert power over them. They may use coercion, intimidation, or blackmail to achieve their desired outcomes, which is robbing you of confidence, lowering your self-esteem and making you feel less about yourself.
Enjoyment of others’ suffering
Some bullies often derive pleasure from inflicting harm or witnessing the suffering of others. They may exhibit a lack of remorse or even find entertainment in the distress caused to their victims.
